This death notice for loyal Waffle House customer and lover-of-life Toni Larroux deserves a byline; there are so many great passages in it.
Larroux — she had lupus, rickets, scurvy, kidney disease and feline leukemia, as well as polio in her childhood — was given the nickname “Polio Legs” by her ex-husband. Thus, “it should not be difficult to imagine the multiple reasons for their divorce 35+ years ago.”
The Bay St. Louis (Miss.) woman had two children with that man, but “due to multiple, anonymous Mother’s Day cards which arrived each May, the children suspect there were other siblings but that has never been verified.”
Larroux once served on the Hancock County Library Foundation, and “ironically, the only correspondence she has received from the library since her resignation has been overdue notices for several overdue books (a true statement),” says the death notice. “Between ICU, dialysis and physical therapy she selfishly refused to make the time to return them. Her last words were, ‘tell them that the check is in the mail…'”
“Any gifts in her honor should be made to the Hancock County Library Foundation (to the overdue book fund).”
And finally, the woman’s friends are told…
“Anyone wearing black will not be admitted to the memorial. She is not dead. She is alive.”
Update: I called the funeral home and the director said he’d try to get the author’s name. The Larroux memorial was going on when I talked to him. About 400 people were there, he said.